Be Present:Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Flexibility and Vitality

By Megan Porath, MSW Intern

To be present means to engage with this moment with openness, awareness, and curiosity.

When I shared in the last post about taking a break from digital media and social activity, I described how, after years of distraction and disconnection, creativity suddenly came rushing back into my life. What I didn’t realize at the time was that this experience had less to do with the songs themselves and more to do with finally becoming present. When I slowed down enough to notice my own thoughts, feelings, and sensations (even the uncomfortable ones) space opened up for something new to grow.

That’s the heart of what Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) calls being present. It’s about learning to show up for our lives as they are right now, instead of running from discomfort or getting lost in the noise of our thoughts, feelings, or sensations. When we stay connected to this moment with openness and curiosity, we begin to experience life more directly and fully, often finding clarity and creativity along the way.

Contacting the Present Moment

So often, our minds are anywhere but here. We replay old mistakes, plan future conversations, or worry about what might happen next. While our minds are excellent problem-solvers, they’re also time travelers, constantly pulling us out of the present moment.

ACT teaches a skill called contacting the present moment, which simply means focusing your attention on what’s happening right now, both inside you and around you, with awareness and flexibility. This might involve noticing the warmth of your coffee mug in your hands, the sound of your friend’s voice, or the feeling of your breath moving through your body. You can think of this as the opposite of being on “autopilot.” When we bring awareness to what’s happening here and now, we reconnect with the richness of life, experiencing the colors, textures, sounds, emotions, and sensations that are easy to miss when we’re lost in thought.

When I took that digital break years ago, I remember how strange it felt to walk without music, podcasts, or messages buzzing in my pocket. My mind immediately looked for something to fill the silence. Once I let that restlessness settle, I began to notice little details I hadn’t seen in years: the pattern of shadows on the sidewalk, the hum of insects in the distance, and the rhythm of my own footsteps. By simply noticing and letting the early discomfort pass, I began to feel more alive and at home in my own skin.

You can practice different types of focus by narrowing your focus to a specific sensation or task, broadening your focus to notice the world around you, shifting your focus from one type of experience to another, or sustaining your focus based on what’s most useful at the time. You don’t have to carve out hours for meditation to practice this skill. Small moments of presence throughout the day while washing dishes, walking to your car, or taking a shower are powerful opportunities to connect with your life as it’s unfolding. 

Defusion: Watching Your Thoughts

Another way of benefiting from being present is through changing how we relate to our thoughts. Most of us take our thoughts at face value. If our mind says, “I’m not doing enough” or “I don’t have enough time,” we tend to believe it. ACT teaches a skill called defusion, which means learning to observe your thoughts instead of being swept away by them.

When we’re fused with our thoughts, it’s as if we’re caught inside them. Feelings and thoughts feel like absolute truth, and they often dictate our behavior. Defusion helps us step back just enough to notice that thoughts are simply words and images our minds produce. They aren’t facts, but rather passing events.

A simple and powerful way to practice this is by adding a small phrase before your thought: instead of “I can’t do this,” try “I’m having the thought that I can’t do this”; instead of “I’m a failure,” try “I’m noticing my mind is telling me I’m a failure.” It might sound small, but this can create a surprising amount of emotional and mental space. Suddenly, there’s you, and then there’s the thought. From that space, you have more room to choose how to respond.

Another way to practice defusion is to imagine your thoughts as leaves floating down a stream. When a thought shows up, whether pleasant or unpleasant, you can place it on a leaf and watch it drift by. There’s no need to push it away or chase after it, as you simply observe.

These simple practices help loosen the grip of the mind’s chatter so you can return to what’s happening right now, which can make it easier to savor the simple moments of tasting your coffee, enjoying the sound of laughter, or simply being calmed by the sensation of your breath.

Living Mindfully, Acting Meaningfully

Being present isn’t about forcing yourself to feel peaceful or positive all the time. It’s about becoming aware of what’s actually here and responding with intention instead of habit. When we practice contacting the present moment and “unhooking” from our thoughts, we become freer to live in ways that reflect who we truly want to be.

Questions for Reflection

When do you notice your mind pulling you out of the present moment?What helps you feel most grounded or connected to your surroundings?What might shift if you began watching your thoughts instead of believing them?

References

Harris, R. (2019). ACT made simple (2nd ed.). New Harbinger Publications.